welcome to the cove. :)

starting over for the umpteenth time :p my optimism dont die. am da foolish crechur.

very you just gestured to all of me mood today. ALSO UPDATEEE

once upon a time, a girl was forgot.

I meant that, I meant

that, that’s exactly how I

wanted that to look.

~things to say after fucking up egregiously, haiku bot

been having nightmares since so many days, i've lost count. when does all this anxiety end. T-T some of these feelings are so insignificant, so ungraspible, i don't even know what to do with the unease that comes along with it. overthinking truly deeply sucks. i feel like all this caring about people(singular) comes from that one fear but it also is so blown out of proportion for no reason. maybe if i had like. two ounces more of a self-esteem things would be better.

mmm cold water (╹ڡ╹ )

today is gonna be so anxiety inducing but its okay it's an experience. i hate the fact that i know for certain i'm going to be mad or sad by the end of it. i still hope though. ^-^ it's not that i hate people, it is just that it's so much easier to observe rather than interact. i do know i overthink but i can't help the negativity which comes along with it. for now, at least i can't. though i do think i've started being more stoic about things. it's slow but it's there.

[cont'd]...holy [redacted] i did not expect it to go alright thank God T-T although i do feel i didn't make one of my friends comfortable enough to truly have fun T-T and it's kinda killing me but i think it was alright holy shit it was alright

i'm considering making an rss feed. but i also don't really want to update people about what i'm doing in the social media sense of way, it feels kind of intrusive? it's more like someone wanders in and finds all these notes scattered on the road, symbolically lol. but the concept of rss feeds sounds so cool :< maybe i should make one and not make it public? eghhh

havign a crush is kinda nice im suddenly realising because i start changing(positively) in ways i never would for myself. honestly i dont even care if its performative because its like. i might've set up this pantomime for someone else but the only audience is me so who really cares.

i FUXKNGIU HATE MYSELF QHATS WRONG WIHT ME SHUFSFUSHUDHAUDSI IVE EMSSED UP SO BAD SO SOSOO SBAD UGHGHAHHHH

sometimes i wonder if anyone came here from my discord. i know i'm not that significant but still so. i somewhat hate it because though i can't be vulnerable anyways(cause well. internet.) now i always have that in the back of my mind whenever i talk of anything i wouldn't necessarily share with people. i'm not stupid i don't do that anyway but still i suffered the consequence of this yesterday. though it doesn't bother me that much, it ruins a narrative.

we need 2 normalise sayign i need 2 take a HUGE FAT SHIT in the mdidle of a conversation